What Dreams May Come...

So the other day I was listening to an Anwar Al-Awlaki CD on the times of Abu Bakr As-Sideeq as a khalifah. One of the stories he was narrating dealt with how Khalid bin Waleed used to deal with his armies and one of the wisdoms he passed on was "speak with your soldiers at night." Imam Anwar continues to explain the significance behind this hikm (wisdom) was that even in the sahaba's time they understood how people work and night time brings out an open/more revealing aspect of people's personalities. In other words, being the General of the army, he knew if he spoke to his soldiers at night he would be able to gather information he might not otherwise find out.

As I was sitting in my car, stuck in the usual rush hour bumper to bumper traffic I found myself ridiculously excited, practically talking to myself (I sincerely apologize to all those in the cars surrounding mine) with exclamations of understanding. It totally makes sense, and often times when least expect it, its those long night conversations, periods of connection to old friends that you absolutely miss the most. I remember an old friend of mine who used to ponder the "late night discussion" phenomena and while it's always been one of those things that just happens, I've never fully contemplated why. I've frequently heard that more jinns come out at night, so somehow that could be tied to our lack of conscious in guarding and protecting what we normally would during daylight hours. Or perhaps, its simply that we're more sleepy after a long day and the effort to think about what we're saying is just too much. Whatever the reason is, I found it interesting Imam Anwar acknowledged this point as well...

On a slightly different perspective, the anticipation and jitters of my approaching graduation are beginning to hit me. It's kind of interesting trying to decide what it is exactly that I'm anxious about--the fact that me, the master of all planners, for once in my life, no matter how hard I try, can't seem to lay out a plan. Or is it that affirmation of faith...the age old line of "Man proposes, God disposes" and realizing the depths of that statement. It's funny because unlike many of my colleagues, for the first time in my college career, I'm not really on a massive job hunt, nor do I have much of a concern of where I'll be going come January. That plan seems to be set, inshaAllah...then again, what plan is ever really set? On the other hand, I see my apprehension as one of the major things that could pose as a true test for me by Allah SWT. In a brief but enlightening psychoanalysis of my personality by some of my family members, it became strikingly clear to me that even as a kid, I had it all planned out...planned until college. Everything becomes hazy after that, even my dreams. But then again, maybe its having all the unknowns that make the adventure all the more fun...

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For those of you who read my first post on the "Tyranny of Choice," this is precisely what I was talking about hah :)


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"The sufferings that are endured patiently, as being inevitable, become intolerable the moment that it appears that there might be an escape...The suffering, it is true, has been reduced, but one's sensitivity has become more acute."

Tocqueville (on the beginnings of the French Revolution)